What touches you in the morning when you wake up ? Reading emails, messages on the phone or reading the news ? For a very long time since my working life, the single most important pursuit is for financial independence and securing the future for retirement. Health and time for family, prayer took a second seat. Until the day my father passed away.
How do you lose a Father so dear it devastates and upend my entire life for a long time. My father has been the pillar of my well being while I pursue worldly achievements. He held onto the same teaching principles of being self sufficient, independence, pursue of greater knowledge and make one self capable.
Since five years old, I was sent to Singapore to study, away from my parents in Indonesia. My student life in Singapore molds me to my father’s teachings. I graduated and finished higher education.
Now as I am hitting 60, my two children have their own careers, my wife is still as happy as she was the day I courted her. My attachment to my father’s teachings are a distant memory since he passed on some 10 years ago. Reflecting my life that has went so fast from the day I arrived in Singapore like a blink of an eye. Question, what is this life all about ? I will expire one day.
I am no nearer to self actualisation than the days God gave me the abundances. I am still trying to overcome detachments from everything that I have, aspire and those that holds me down. (Matthew 6:19) Then I’ve no fear, peace and got a reprieve while praying. Then the next morning I woke up, the attachment, the pursuit and everything else all came back again and the mind to detach cycle repeats again. Everyday I’m looking for his words to stay in his words. I sometimes dread the morning when I wake up. I pray every morning. News, emails and phone messages took a second seat.
I’m still in the valley, I haven’t got out yet, I don’t know how long is this path. If any it would just be a journal of journey, no conclusion yet. I don’t pray to expect anything from God but pray for a detachment and whatever God leads the path for the choice I made I’m ready. God had given me abundance (Ephesians 3:20) for so many times for so long, unexpected and without asking, as I am still lost now. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking in the valley of death (Psalm 23:4) but I’ve no fear. Perhaps God meant me to taste something, reflect and appreciate something, share something before I expire. I do not know, but only the path to God is clear. I pray today is a good day. Psalm 118:24